Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I have fence marks all over my body
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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