Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
