I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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