Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
