I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
