I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
