My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
