she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
