I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
