TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
