To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
