Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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