No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
