I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
