About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
