Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
