I think scott just propositioned me for sex
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
