p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
