Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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