Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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