Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
