Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize