i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i would punch a child for taco bell
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
