just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
