I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
