I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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