i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
