Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
