I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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