This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
