who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
