can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My vagina just recognized that song.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize