But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Whod you bang
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
