I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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