the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
