i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize