Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
