69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
