maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
