see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
