Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize