You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
