I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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