Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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