:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
