Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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