I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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