Plan B is the new Plan A
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize