I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
