That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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