What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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