overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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