the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
