She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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