ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
