I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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