I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
