just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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