What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
