Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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