New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
