Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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