my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
