Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
