Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize