Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
