This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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