my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Two words: nipple clamps
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