Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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