I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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