seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
