hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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