Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize