PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
