Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
